Let me be frank, I love to write. I love telling stories, creating characters I care about, becoming emotionally invested in my stories & exposing myself to the world, sharing a part of myself I generally keep private. Ever since I first got published, I’ve people say “Oh, I’ve always wanted to write” or “I’d love to do that”, and they look at me like I’m a returning champion on Jeopardy! That’s all fine, but what’s galling is the people who talk to me and think writing it easy and all fun & games. Here’s a news flash; Like Life Writing Can Be Very Hard! I think the hardships can be basically broken down into four sections (but there could be more that I haven’t thought of, so feel free to share your thoughts); Common Obstacles, Emotional Challenges, Negative Feedback, & Distractions. I don’t care if you’re a novice, a best seller named Stephen King, or a legend like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, these are problems every writer must face from time to time, but it’s how they deal with them is what matters. I once heard “The greatest test of courage on Earth, is bear defeat without losing heart,” Robert Green Ingersoll. I truly believe this but for writers, musicians, artists, those who share creativity with the world, no matter what form it takes, they must keep this in their minds no matter what.
1st; The Common Obstacles;
I think it’s fair to say no matter what your job/vocation is you must deal with distractions in one form or another, but there are ways of dealing with them. Some you can shut the world out and others, well that’s another matter. Whether it’s family (including pets, which are family in my book) or friends, they do reach out to you for one reason or another. I’m reminded of the scene in The Shining, where Jack Nicholson is telling Shelly Duvall about disturbing him;
Jack Torrance: “Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?”
My point, which the scene explains perfectly is once a writer is ‘in the zone’ as I put it, something comes up, distracts him, which can be internal or external, it can be a train derailment. It’s happened to me several times and frankly I’d rather get a nut shot from a pissed off donkey. These distractions can come from anywhere and the easiest ones you can block yourself; television, the internet, music, just turn them off. Now for I admit I ‘need’ a bit of a background noise, even when I’m blogging like now. The easiest for me to stop is television, cause I put in a Yule Log DVD, which I discussed before. (So, check out that blog to see my views and suggestions if you’re not a fireplace lover). Admittedly music can be a little tougher because like a lot of folks I do get into the lyrics of my favorite songs. But I just read in the September issue of Writer’s Digest an idea, of playing classical music that has no lyrics but is inspiring. I’ll let you know how that goes for me. If anyone out there has tried this idea, please share your results.
The internet is another matter because occasionally, I do research while writing when needed. I’m betting a great many others do the same thing and the trick is get on-find out what you need-get off & get back to work. There’ll be time for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and everything else later. I’ve found you really must discipline yourself for this at times, because it’s so easy to be distracted by cute animal videos, games, and pics of your friends & ex’s.
2nd; The Emotional Challenges;
I can’t speak for other writers, but I am an emotional person and as the saying goes, wear my heart on my sleeves, and overriding my emotions is one of the biggest & hardest challenges I’ve faced and still deal with. It’s time for honesty; I’m so behind in my next John Seraph mystery and my other story ideas it isn’t funny. This all began two years ago in the fall when someone I beginning to care about a lot cut me out of her lift without a word. We were friends and I was helping adjust to living in Buffalo, NY after coming here from Kabul, Afghanistan. Now we were, so I thought, friends, and I admit I began to wonder about a possible romance, but I guess I was wrong. I never got an answer and I understand there was cultural and age differences, but it’s possible her family had some input. Essentially it was going thru an emotional meatgrinder and took away something I thought I lost, hope. Only once in my life I’d been in love with a special woman, and I admit when I finally told her how I felt things didn’t go well, and I pushed hard to salvage our friendship. Things didn’t go well.
My point with this being blasted into an emotional bomb crater like this isn’t easy, but its fact of life most folks got though at one point or another. In some cases, more than once. I think it’s safe to say there’s no thing as Happily Ever After. The trick is pulling one’s self out of that crater, which isn’t easy. Especially when you go past where both former friends live, everyday on my way to work.
Now I admit after both disasters happened, I didn’t care about my books, or writing, and considered quit writing all together. I’d lost the spark and I was going through the motions with work and family. But there is one thing I learned, writers can use these darker events from their lives and basically polish a turd.
It’s no secret Robert B. Parker was/is my favorite mystery author, and he was married to his wife Joan from 1956 until he died in 2010. At some point the Parkers separated and Parker was able to find inspiration and used the breakup in two of his most lynch-pin novels of the Spenser series, Valediction and A Catskill Eagle. I’ve re-read both novel about three times each, back-to-back, because they are joined at the hip, and Eagle is a direct sequel. In Valediction the book begins with Spenser love Susan Silverman leaves him to see if she can live without him and in a bad state Spenser looks into the vanishing of a young dancer from a religious sect and goes on a suicide run. In the follow up Eagle, Spenser receives a letter from his lover, Susan Silverman, who has relocated to the West Coast. His friend and associate, Hawk, is in jail and she needs help. Susan has engaged in a relationship with a wealthy heir, Russell Costigan, a man rich and powerful enough to get what he wants, whether legal or not. I view the two stories as a two-parter, because Spenser without Susan is equal to Romeo without Juliet. I think what Parker did was cathartic and at least he cleared the air and rebuilt his relationship with Joan. They recommitted to one another worked thru their issues and then came to an unusual arrangement. They lived in a three-story Victorian house just outside of Harvard Square; she lived on one floor and he on another, and they shared the middle floor. This living arrangement is mirrored in Spenser's private life: his girlfriend, Susan, had an aversion to marriage and living together full-time. Living separately suited them both, although they were fully committed to each other. Explaining the arrangement in an interview on CBS Sunday Morning, Parker said, "I want to make love to my wife for the rest of my life, but I never want to sleep with her again."
Now for me I haven’t been able to come full circle, and close the books, and I doubt I ever will be able to. The girl from Kabul inspired a story idea, with new characters, and I’d begun working on a few more ideas, but put it all aside. I didn’t toss the notebook, cause I thought maybe… so perhaps I’ll somehow repeat what Parker did in my own way.
3rd; Negative Feedback;
As a published writer yes, I want feedback, I’d love to get a thousand reviews singing my praises, claiming I’m an up & coming mystery author, but that ain’t happening. I’ve got to do more, and I know this. But there’s one thing I’ve never let get to me since I truly began writing, that being negative feedback or criticism. When I was taking creative writing in college, I learned this from my professor, who pointed out the differences in giving a critic. Good feedback can be rough, harsh, even brutal, but if it also emphasizes the good in a piece; storytelling, plot, an author’s style, whatever. Now if the critique is bad, it’ll come off like a personal attack and no one likes that. I’ve been through enough of those in my life to drive me to the edge and I admit I’ve looked into the eye of the abyss, and the abyss does indeed look back at you.
My point is this; you may get reviews on Amazon, Good Reads, or other sites, they maybe the good, the bad, & the ugly, but if it’s the latter two, don’t let it you down. No need to play the “Nobody likes me” card. Elvis missed a few notes, Babe Ruth was struck out, Harrison Ford and Sylvester Stallone have both made a few stinkers, and last time I checked nobody starting out a writing career is at the levels of Poe, Shakespeare, or Doyle. If the reviewer leaves some ideas on how to help your writing great, if not my suggestion is reach out to them and see if they’ll give some ideas on what they’d have done differently. Basically, call them out and let them know it’s time to put up or shut up.
4th; Top 5 Distractions;
Okay here is my personal list for the Top 5 Distractions when I’m trying to write. Some I’ve discussed here already, other not so. Your own list may vary and if you’d like to share please feel free to post your list.
#5 Family & Friends; My family & friends know
#4 Phone/Internet; Simple I let voicemail pick up/ Like I mentioned when in the middle of writing if I need information about this, that, or the other it’s very easy to type a few words on Yahoo and BANG you get results. The trick is staying disciplined enough to ignore Facebook and the rest of social media, until later. As my folks used to tell me when I was a kid, Work first, then fun.
#3 Life (all those natural things we worry about; family, health, bills, work, etc…etc…etc…); I force myself to give time to the stories/worlds of my creation. Every aspect of my life is important; writing, family, friends, work and although they might not all get equal time each day, but I focus on them all when needed.
#2 Television; my solution Fireplace Yule Log DVD
#1 My Own Mind; this is the trickiest to deal with because quieting down the random voices in my head. What I’m referring to is doubts and questions that come up, like ‘Am I Good Enough’ or ‘I’ll Never Reach the Best Seller’s List’ When this happens, and I pull myself out of the funk I watch an amazing inspiring video I came across.
Hopefully this may help some out there, and I’m interested in seeing what hardships & distractions you deal with, and how do you handle them. Feel free to share and till next time, CGE
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